When I'm lost and have no where to turn I look at You. Such a great love-song to my Abba Father.
A simple place to get my thoughts out.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I'm not going to be a plastic bag
So I lost my job the other day.
And I am in the middle of a bit of a personality crisis. Reading through job applications, trying to figure out where I went wrong...and exactly how I am supposed to find where I'm supposed to go.
I was sitting in my truck the other night, about to cry...and just leaning into my steering wheel.
What am I supposed to do? I have bills to pay, and I have no way to survive without a job.
I turned on the truck just to drive...and left my radio off. As I drove up Route 1...I flipped the radio on...and Firework came on:
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in
Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that tehre's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July
Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own
You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July
Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through
Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Can this be true? Can I really be something more than just a blip on the timeline? Can I do more? Can I make a difference?
The real reason this song affected me so much was the first line....I have always felt like a plastic bag. I have always felt like my life could be so much better if I could just start again.
I'm praying that I can become a Firework...and make an impression on someone else.
And I am in the middle of a bit of a personality crisis. Reading through job applications, trying to figure out where I went wrong...and exactly how I am supposed to find where I'm supposed to go.
I was sitting in my truck the other night, about to cry...and just leaning into my steering wheel.
What am I supposed to do? I have bills to pay, and I have no way to survive without a job.
I turned on the truck just to drive...and left my radio off. As I drove up Route 1...I flipped the radio on...and Firework came on:
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in
Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that tehre's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July
Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own
You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July
Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through
Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Can this be true? Can I really be something more than just a blip on the timeline? Can I do more? Can I make a difference?
The real reason this song affected me so much was the first line....I have always felt like a plastic bag. I have always felt like my life could be so much better if I could just start again.
I'm praying that I can become a Firework...and make an impression on someone else.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Synthetic Discord
I'm a fan of Drama. I love it. I squee when seeing it, I relish in partaking of it. I adore causing it. I'm the first one to admit that when it comes to drama...I'm the king.
Then I get to thinking....does drama make me a better person? I may get cool points in some social circles...but when I'm alienating those who mean the most to me?
Drama is a word that to me, evokes a fire within that cannot be quenched. Drama to me = Acting...a trait I do oh so well. If you know me at all...you know I'm a theatre geek. You know I make a to-do out of everything. You know I am the first one to start dancing randomly because I'm bored.
This morning I read a blog post of a friend of mine...an amazingly talented young woman...and it struck me. Me being dramatic isn't me pursing my passion. Its basically me giving myself an excuse for being a bitch. Its time I delve deep inside and find out what my true passion is.
And on the surface...it seems pretty obvious...Music, and Theatre. But in all actuality the more I read and study my "carbs" (Thanks ID) I'm not designed to be an artist. I'm not designed to simply stand on a stage, or paint a picture... I'm designed to serve.
Philippians... probably one of my favorite books of the Bible.... "Philippians 2:1-4: So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
The idea...that God designed me to serve others is astounding...and I'm not talking about being just in customer service....no I'm talking about bending over backwards to help someone...I'm giving my shirt, my time, my money, my everything to others because as paul said "For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them." (1 corinthians 9:19)
Its time to serve others in the way Christ served me.
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